Unicycles and feral hogs: former lawmaker unveils his top bill descriptions

Having trouble classifying your electric unicycle? Want to identify your deer but don't want to get it tattooed? The 85th Texas Legislature is here to help.

Now that the bill filing deadline has passed, former state lawmaker Corbin Van Arsdale on Monday published a list of nominees for the 50 best bill descriptions this session, and competition is tough.

Van Arsdale started the list in 2013, and in the four years since, he says it now has "a life of its own."

"People will now email me out of the blue, saying, 'Hey, be sure this is on the list,' or, 'Make sure you don't miss this one," Van Arsdale said. "Some are excited they're on the list, and others are terrified it's gonna be their bill."

Whichever gets the "most love" from people around the Capitol, Van Arsdale said, will be crowned the winner Wednesday.

Van Arsdale served at the Legislature as a Houston-area representative from 2003 to 2009 and is now vice president and general counsel for the Texas branch of Associated General Contractors, a trade association representing parts of the construction industry.

"Session can be heavy, so it's nice to have a little lighthearted break," he said.

The top 50 bill descriptions of the 85th legislative session:

1. Relating to the operation of an electric unicycle

2. Relating to the taking of certain feral hogs and coyotes using a hot air balloon

3. Encouraging the President of the United States to refrain from threatening elected officials

4. Relating to the regulation of men's health and safety; creating a civil penalty for unregulated masturbatory emissions

5. Relating to operating a motor vehicle while another person is occupying the trunk

6. Relating to the regulation of raising or keeping six or fewer chickens by a political subdivision

7. Urging Texans not to use the flag emoji of the Republic of Chile when referring to the Texas flag

8. Relating to the operation of a golf cart or utility vehicle on a public highway in certain counties

9. Relating to a franchise tax credit for entities that establish a grocery store or healthy corner store in a food desert

10. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for certain feminine hygiene products for a limited period

11. Relating to a study by the Department of Agriculture of the transfer of water from the Mississippi River

12. Relating to restrictions on the use of certain sprays, Tasers, and stun guns against public school students

13. Relating to the prosecution of the offense of impersonating a public servant

14. Relating to the creation of the offense of bestiality

15. Relating to requiring the review of public school district paperwork to limit paperwork requirements

16. Relating to a prohibition on the use of certain baseball bats at University Interscholastic League events

17. Relating to standing in a roadway

18. Relating to the solicitation of pen pals by certain inmates of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice

19. Relating to honesty in state taxation

20. Relating to the issuance of Blessed are the Peacemakers specialty license plates

21. Relating to the status of powdered alcohol as an alcoholic beverage for purposes of the Alcoholic Beverage Code

22. Relating to pedestrian use of a sidewalk

23. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for child and adult diapers

24. Relating to the regulation of fantasy games

25. Relating to a sales and use tax exemption for condoms

26. Relating to the use of certain weapons in or on the beds or banks of the Canadian River in Potter County

27. Relating to certain lottery prize winners' choice to remain anonymous

28. Relating to the repeal of certain laws regulating the sale or transfer of secondhand watches

29. Relating to the consent required for the administration of prophylaxis to prevent ophthalmia neonatorum

30. Relating to taxes imposed on vinous liquor

31. Relating to registration and regulation of dangerous wild animals

32. Relating to the prosecution and punishment of the use of benzodiazepines or gamma butyrolactone to facilitate the commission of the offense of aggravated sexual assault and the addition of gamma butyrolactone to Penalty Group 1

33. Relating to the protection of expressive activities at public institutions of higher education

34. Relating to protecting freedom of conscience from government discrimination

35. Relating to the identification of breeder deer by use of microchip implants

36. Relating to the adoption and implementation of a recess policy by public school districts

37. Relating to the composition of the combative sports advisory board

38. Relating to the publication, republication, or other dissemination of mug shots and certain other information regarding the involvement of an individual in the criminal justice system

39. Relating to a prohibition on the consideration of revenue anticipated to be derived from criminal fines in planning for the state budget

40. Urging Congress to pass a budget

41. Relating to increasing the punishment for the offense of abuse of a corpse

42. Relating to signs required to be posted in the restrooms of sexually oriented businesses

43. Relating to rules regarding the carcasses of certain birds or animals

44. Relating to the unlawful restraint of a dog

45. Relating to the study and approval of lethal pesticides for feral hog control

46. Relating to ransomware

47. Relating to the punishment for the offense of theft of cattle, horses, exotic livestock, exotic fowl, sheep, swine, or goats

48. Relating to the requirement for a mass gathering or outdoor music festival permit

49. Urging Congress to reduce the amount of paperwork required of teachers by federal law

50. Proposing a constitutional amendment providing for the recognition of equal rights of all people